Christian Self Help graphic

Christian Self Help


Fix Your Marriage


  The Line In The Sand
     - Credits
     - Forward - L. Alexander
     - Introduction
     - 1. The Dawning (Part 1)
     - 2. Incoming
     - 3. Return Fire
     - 4. Bankruptcy
     - 5. Pressure
     - 6. I'll Show You
     - 7. Liar, Liar
     - 8. Broken Glass
     - 9. Grand Canyon (Part 2)
     - 9a. No Canyon
     - 9b. Making The Canyon
     - 9c. Codependency
     - 9d. Baggage
     - 9e. The Way We Are
     - 9f. Work
     - 9g. Exclusion
     - 10. Spelunking (Part. 3)
     - 11. In The Darkness
     - 12. In The Light
     - 13. Reorganization
     - 14. The Final Chapter

     - Review - J. Talavera
     - Review - N. Beck
     - About the Author

Fix Your Marriage

(Part 2) The Line in the Sand - Chapter 9c. - Codependency

4. Codependency

     As we grow more comfortable in our relationship, we often slide into complacency where we begin to take each other for granted. I will begin to see a pattern in your behavior and I also expect that pattern will continue. I may then make decisions, which revolve around your patterns. This can work for a while but will require maintenance on my part. It will be necessary for me to continually inspect you to see if there is a change occurring that may require a change in my plan to accommodate your change. I hope you can see the futility in this pattern of behavior. If this goes on for too long, I will become bitter because you are such a burden to me. You are making my life difficult. I have nowhere to turn. I will feel trapped and I will either blame you or myself for whatís going wrong.

     This process is very complicated because we may believe we are serving to please the other person, and yet we are really serving ourselves just so we can stay in the cycle. If this seems like a familiar pattern in your life, I would like to suggest that you research the subject of co-dependency or co-addiction and do some serious reading.

     If you find you are actually in this cycle, NOW is the time to get help.

     I don't claim to be an expert on this matter, however I can observe the damage from this behavior all around me. The painful truth of this difficult-to-break behavior is that through being dependent on another personís behavior, you are trying to erase any line in the sand. Neither you nor I can erase the line no matter how hard we try. The only thing this creates is more erosion, more distance, and a wider canyon. worksheet...


© M. Scott Worthington 2006-2017 - All rights reserved.
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